Someone Working at Centrelink. The Tooth Fairy and Britney Spears wearing Underwear?

What do all these things have in common? - They are all complete flights of fancy..

 Yes, it’s been a while since my last taxing encounter with Centrelink. A new floor plan had… I hoped brought about a new way of doing things…. Unfortunately, the décor is the only improvement that has been made.

 

"Even hell has its own Centrelink....."

A few weeks ago Centrelink has sent me an Earning verifications request form (form C24L if your interested..), to which I complied. I filled it in, and handed in the necessary paperwork…

 

Fast forward one week, and lo and behold I have been sent another form….. This one however, says that I haven’t filled in the earning verifications request form…….. either that or they’ve lost it…

Well Fuck-a-doodle-do….Centrelink are that retarded that they cant keep a track of one form……… Well…that is so shocking that I think I’m going to have a heart attack right now..

 

So….i decided to visit Centrelink and express my disappointment/rage with them….

 

I arrived at 11 am….. A 5-10 minute wait is not out of the ordinary…..Although a 35 minute wait is… I’m pretty sure one of the guys behind the desk was dead…. He wasn’t moving……I don’t even think I saw him blink….although this could have been merely a self defense mechanism to protect him from the drug laddened money grabbers that frequent Centrelink Morley.

"I think i'm going to stop playing 'who shall i kill first in my head' and just go with whatever feels natural"

 

As with my last visit I was served by a middle aged asian woman with a poor grasp of English (or ‘ingwish’) , although it was not ‘Honey’( see' Dickhead Link ')

Im assuming that her temporary visa has expired………

I calmly described my problem to horey (albeit around 6 times) and after she finally understood she began Phase 1 of Centrelink protocol - Typing something into the computer (doesnt really matter what, just type something to confuse customer)

 As ‘Horey’ typed away at the computer she came to the amazing conclusion that...“I waz an aurtomaric retter dat waz fent owt fom hed offrice”

Amazing...a mistake from head office...i would have never in a million years guessed that..

So Horey sent a message to them saying that it was a mistake… I asked if instead of sending a message could she send a letter bomb, but I think she mistook that for humour..

I then left trying calmly not to hit anyone who got in my way. I only narrowly escaped the urge to kill..

 
As ever I await my inevitable return to Centrelink…and…my inevitable revenge on head office..