A good musician is hard to keep down. Believe me, I tried to pin Kylie down once, and despite her thin frame, she could still pack quite a punch. But I digress..
Yes many musicians, who are indeed labeled as good, often stay in the public eye for a long time. Those labeled as middling appear fleetingly, and those labeled as shit are heavy metal bands. But the good ones, long after much of their popularity as waned, go on world tours.
But it seems, even the most cash strapped of has-beens all suffer for the same lack of geographical knowledge, and often leave Australia ( a major continent for those who don't know) out of there so called "World Tours"… But thankfully, one star paid attention at school….
"Who is this man?" I hear you ask?
Well, he's black, hes blind and he's tickled more ivory than a pervert who has a fetish for elephant tusks, yes Stevie Wonder is coming to Australia.. Either that or Ray Charles must be coming.
Ray's last show was described as quite a somber affair and not something for repeat viewing. To be fair it was his funeral, but you would have thought being his farewell gig he would have made more of an effort to address the crowd. He just laid down for all of it. Even James Brown went on tour after he kicked it....Height of unprofessionalism. Speaking of which….back to the story at hand, Stevie Wonder..
"Stevie is touring Australia, and just like heather mills on dancing with the stars, he's already kicked of the first leg........(of his tour..)"
He'll be performing all his hits like "Superstition", "For once in my life" and the several 300 or so songs that don't get played on commercial radio anymore….
But the thing about Stevie's concerts is that, although entertaining when he sings, he falls a little flat in monologues between songs. Namely the humour element….
His jokes don't come out very well... Most are met with only a small giggle, his worst is the one where he comes out on stage and says "Nice to see all of you here"…… that one is only met with some mild nervous laughter….
Audience Member :" hahah..ha..oh...wait..was that a joke, coz..you know...hes blind and all that....surely it was .....wasn't it??"
But i'm sure they dont go for the jokes... If they do, then they have been grossly misinformed as to Stevie's Occupation...
Just remember you can catch Stevie Wonder, and if you do, pin him to the ground until the police arrive, because he is blind, and as such, if left walking alone down the street could come to some harm. Like getting hit by one of those eco friendly cars.
Just like a fart, they're silent but deadly…..potentially anyways….
P.S "I did have another joke, but I couldn't find a way to put it in, plus it was a bit convoluted, but I'll include it here for you now..
"How many blind African American piano playing singers does it take to bake a cake?"
The Answer-
None. One's dead and as such contravenes a huge number of occupational health and safety laws, the others a millionaire, he gets people to bake a cake for him. Im sure being blind does contravene some OHS laws, but only if in a restaurant kitchen. Strict Standards and all that… If you want a cake baked, better of to find someone else. I'm sure Stevie is busy.
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